{ then aventurine looks at her, startled. he looks down to her lap, then back at her face. it's very clear he's out of his depth, doesn't really know how to accept this at face value. }
But it isn't like anything else has helped.
{ 'anything else' is a very set list of things he's tried though, that always only had one person--himself--and maybe the cake cats. depending on how far off the deep end he was. }
And what if--What if... I get too comfortable with this? And then when I go home... I'm all alone again?
[In fairness to Aventurine, he has been out of his depth since the moment he opened the door to her. She smiles a little and reaches up to gently brush his hair away from his forehead.]
Perhaps the real question isn't whether you'll be alone later. [She says gently.] But whether you want to spend the time you have now pretending you already are.
[She lightly coaxes him to settle in her lap. Poor boy. What is she going to do with him...]
You don't have to answer this, but... if you did go back, and you did remember... do you think you could go on living the life you currently have? Or would you want something else badly enough to take a gamble on getting it?
{ he closes his eyes, frowns and holds his breath for a moment. }
I said before that I took a grand gamble to land myself a gig in the IPC, right? I bet on my life, that I could bring value to the Strategic Investment Department. If I were to stop bringing that value, if I get ahead of myself and I try and put myself first I lose that position... { he pauses, and likely doesn't need to say more but he'll say it anyway. }
If that happens, it won't be long before I'm dead. Even if they don't do it directly without their protection enough people want me dead I'll never be able to rest. So, tell me, { and then his next words sound detached. } how am I supposed to keep living the life I currently have here?
[She will admit she doesn't have an answer for him. He's in a terrible position and one that will not be made better by remembering everything he has gained and learned here.
Her fingers comb through his hair, idly tucking it behind his ear.]
That was quite a gamble, then... to have terms that you could never fulfill.
[Shaking her head a little.]
I suppose life in a different world isn't something that would interest you.
{ it's slowly getting better, even if it may never be okay. he's had to spend time with a doctor of chaos after being in the sea of nihility and the night terrors that followed his mental state is even more fractured than before.
but he isn't alone per se.
and there are people (topaz, ratio) that he misses here.
but her last statement has his eyes flickering back to up to her. anyone else, if she had been anyone else, he may not admit this much. maybe the fact she's shown him her true form, maybe because she's shared some of her own past he'll waver. let the words spill from his lips.
it isn't a happy statement, but it's said with such softness, with such reverence, it's hard to argue with. }
No, because... because they are not here. Whenever I do finally die... I want to see them again. My Papa, Mama, my sister... at the end of this long, difficult journey, I want to be able to see their smiles again.
[She wouldn't argue with him even if she could have. Something like that isn't a thing to be debated.
Guizhong tucks her hair behind her ear, leans down, and gently kisses his forehead.]
I hope you know that if there is anything I can do for you, I shall most certainly do it.
[Then she exhales softly and sits back, still combing her fingers through his hair. It's a puzzle, to be sure... something difficult to solve... but perhaps she could think of something that would give him everything he wants. Perhaps.
Her fingertips rub idly against his scalp as she hums a quiet tune.]
{ his eyes flutter when she leans down, doing his best to not flinch on impulse when logically he knows nothing bad is coming. it's when she presses the gentle kiss to his forehead that he finally lets himself relax, lets himself sink into her and the couch. to lean into her warmth. }
This is already more than enough.
{ and despite saying he wouldn't be able to easily fall asleep, he does shut his eyes now, at least intending to rest even if it doesn't equate to slumber. }
[She hums a little, stroking her fingers over his hair, then lapses into a soft tune that she remembers from when she was much, much younger than she is now.
Guizhong sinks back into the couch cushions and closes her eyes, content to stay there for as long as he needs her.]
{ it takes time, of course it does, but after some time he does eventually drift off to sleep. it isn't an easy sleep, but it is easier with her being there. she'll see his brow furrow at points, but he isn't waking up in a cold sweat. he isn't screaming out.
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no subject
Date: 2026-03-08 09:27 pm (UTC){ then aventurine looks at her, startled. he looks down to her lap, then back at her face. it's very clear he's out of his depth, doesn't really know how to accept this at face value. }
But it isn't like anything else has helped.
{ 'anything else' is a very set list of things he's tried though, that always only had one person--himself--and maybe the cake cats. depending on how far off the deep end he was. }
And what if--What if... I get too comfortable with this? And then when I go home... I'm all alone again?
no subject
Date: 2026-03-16 06:12 pm (UTC)Perhaps the real question isn't whether you'll be alone later. [She says gently.] But whether you want to spend the time you have now pretending you already are.
no subject
Date: 2026-03-19 09:05 am (UTC)No, it's... { the laugh he lets out is low and a little wounded. } if I go back and remember all this, won't that loneliness feel much worse?
{ but she'll find he's leaning into her hand despite what he says. leans and tries to take whatever warmth he can. }
no subject
Date: 2026-03-25 11:00 am (UTC)You don't have to answer this, but... if you did go back, and you did remember... do you think you could go on living the life you currently have? Or would you want something else badly enough to take a gamble on getting it?
no subject
Date: 2026-03-29 07:10 pm (UTC)I said before that I took a grand gamble to land myself a gig in the IPC, right? I bet on my life, that I could bring value to the Strategic Investment Department. If I were to stop bringing that value, if I get ahead of myself and I try and put myself first I lose that position... { he pauses, and likely doesn't need to say more but he'll say it anyway. }
If that happens, it won't be long before I'm dead. Even if they don't do it directly without their protection enough people want me dead I'll never be able to rest. So, tell me, { and then his next words sound detached. } how am I supposed to keep living the life I currently have here?
no subject
Date: 2026-04-04 11:25 pm (UTC)Her fingers comb through his hair, idly tucking it behind his ear.]
That was quite a gamble, then... to have terms that you could never fulfill.
[Shaking her head a little.]
I suppose life in a different world isn't something that would interest you.
no subject
Date: 2026-04-05 02:46 pm (UTC)but he isn't alone per se.
and there are people (topaz, ratio) that he misses here.
but her last statement has his eyes flickering back to up to her. anyone else, if she had been anyone else, he may not admit this much. maybe the fact she's shown him her true form, maybe because she's shared some of her own past he'll waver. let the words spill from his lips.
it isn't a happy statement, but it's said with such softness, with such reverence, it's hard to argue with. }
No, because... because they are not here. Whenever I do finally die... I want to see them again. My Papa, Mama, my sister... at the end of this long, difficult journey, I want to be able to see their smiles again.
no subject
Date: 2026-04-05 03:14 pm (UTC)[She wouldn't argue with him even if she could have. Something like that isn't a thing to be debated.
Guizhong tucks her hair behind her ear, leans down, and gently kisses his forehead.]
I hope you know that if there is anything I can do for you, I shall most certainly do it.
[Then she exhales softly and sits back, still combing her fingers through his hair. It's a puzzle, to be sure... something difficult to solve... but perhaps she could think of something that would give him everything he wants. Perhaps.
Her fingertips rub idly against his scalp as she hums a quiet tune.]
no subject
Date: 2026-04-05 03:33 pm (UTC)This is already more than enough.
{ and despite saying he wouldn't be able to easily fall asleep, he does shut his eyes now, at least intending to rest even if it doesn't equate to slumber. }
no subject
Date: 2026-04-11 04:47 pm (UTC)Guizhong sinks back into the couch cushions and closes her eyes, content to stay there for as long as he needs her.]
🎀 tenderly wraps this up
Date: 2026-04-12 10:23 pm (UTC)it's an improvement. }